How is your self worth?
Updated: Sep 23, 2019
While wearing different hats of a mother, wife, husband, son or daughter, it’s possible to forget oneself. It’s often easier to take care of other people’s needs than our own.
Why is this? Could it because we think it’s selfish to think of oneself? And our self worth is low?
On the outside, everything may seem fine. And you may even cringe at the thought of you having a low self worth. However, it’s not unlikely to have a low self worth, while doing extremely well in the roles you play with respect to other people. So how do you gauge where your self worth is at? And why is it even important to gauge it?
Let’s start with why it’s important to gauge our self worth. Surely, you may know the dictionary meaning of ‘self worth’. It means ‘self understanding and acceptance of oneself’ Two powerful words there- Self understanding and Acceptance.
One may say, “Off course, I understand myself and accept’ myself. And yet if this were true, why are we the first to label ourselves as ‘loser, stupid, not good enough’ etc. This may be because knowing oneself is a deeper exercise and knowing something on an intellectual level is completely different than practicing it.
Acceptance comes from truly understanding your strengths and weaknesses. It starts with enjoying who you are. Stop criticising yourself. Befriending yourself may be one of the best things you do for yourself. It’s easy to get wrapped up in wanting to have a better job, house and materialistic things but if at the end of the day you don’t enjoy those things, there’s no point in all that, is there? In the words of Marie Forleo “ The world needs that special gift that only you have.” So enjoy yourself, fall in love with yourself. It’s not only important but critical to your happiness.
Here are some ways to improve and gauge our self worth.
Setting an intention to have a better self worth is the first step. To experience true happiness you have to believe that you want that kind of happiness. And the only way to create the life you love is by having a healthy self worth. Remember, that your intention matters. If you intend to create a healthier self worth, doing things to support that intention will follow naturally.
“Self-worth comes from one thing- thinking that you are worthy- Wayne Dyer”
2. Killing ANTs
Here’s an exercise, can you go one whole day without ANTs. ?
Automatic Negative self talks is a harmful thing and yet we engage in it daily. Knowingly or unknowingly. To improve your self worth, one will undoubtedly have to know and accept themselves. This means, it’ll require one to recognize the pattern of negative self talk. The great news is that one can learn to kill these negative thoughts. It’s a skill one can learn which will directly help to improve their self worth.
Check out this video from Mel Robbins on how you can learn to control your mind.
Do you find it difficult to prioritize yourself? Imagine a scenario, you wanted to finally get a massage or go shopping by yourself for yourself, and then a loved one needed you to run an errand for them. And before you know it you’ve cancelled your plan with yourself. Now this is one such example, but incidents like this are countless. Do you often find yourself putting others above yourself. Understand your needs and wants. Before rushing to help others, make yourself a priority. Next time you catch yourself making others a priority ask yourself- in doing so are you hurting yourself? If no, great, go ahead. However, if someone asks you to do something and you’d rather be doing something for yourself at that time, say No.
Here’s a video on How to say No!
4. Revise the Story
It’s time to change the story. The story that it is selfish to think of one’s need. Did some incident make you believe that you need to be selfless and only think about others. Well, being selfless is great as long as it’s a choice and not a compulsion. If you’re choosing to do something for someone do it with love, not because you have to or its expected of you. Having a healthy self worth is about respecting your needs as you would someone else's’. Don’t confuse having self worth as to being selfish.