Updated: Oct 17
Has there been a time in your life when you tried really hard to do something but you just couldn’t succeed in the way you wanted?
And are those past failures still haunting you?
In this episode we’re talking about how to stop getting haunted by your past failures and what you can choose to do instead? So keep watching or listening.
Hi and welcome back to Up It and Action-Ables podcast
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I think every single one of us is qualified to talk about this topic.
Because every single one of us had to deal with some type of failure in the past.
When you’ve worked really hard to achieve something and you’re not able to achieve that then obviously it is disappointing, and it must have felt like the entire world was crashing down upon you!
Let me tell you something that there’s a trick that you can choose to learn and apply that won’t make your past mistakes keep you and hold you back from taking action and going after your dreams and goals right now.
Wanna know what that is? Keep watching or listening.
Okay so the trick really is that instead of choosing to look at your failures as failures if you choose to learn from them then those failures won’t sting so much.
I know I can almost hear you when you say that sounds like a whole lot of B.S.
But stick with me because I promise there’s a way to deal with failures in a much better way.
Now I’m sure you may feel that you were dealt a particularly rough hand and had to handle failures that were extremely difficult and challenging and I don’t mean to claim to know your personal struggles but I do know one thing that there’s a commonality between all perceived failures and that is they are all perceived.
Think about it. Every so-called perceived failure, did something good come out of it?
For example: that failed romantic relationship was it really a failure if it taught you the importance of self love?
Or even that start up business that couldn’t make money but didn’t it teach you invaluable lessons of entrepreneurship?
Or any other goal that you missed to see it through to your idea of success, was it really a failure or was it just you perceiving it to be a failure?
Stay with me and try to entertain this thought.
What if there are really no failures and only lessons?
What if that ideal outcome that you wanted for yourself was good but what you got instead was a path to get you onto something even better?
Now I know at the time it doesn’t look that way.
We can only evaluate these so-called failures only going forward.
And while looking back on it will be extremely painful and uncomfortable but looking back is something that you’ll have to do in order to look for lessons that you can possibly learn from that experience.
Whether it was failure in your work or in your relationships, unless and until you choose to look at those failures you’re most likely going to miss the lessons and lessons there are to be learnt.
So here are a couple of steps that can help you to not get haunted by your past so-called failures.
Step no. 1. Your past does not define you
Who you were and what you did in your past does not impact or should not impact what you are trying to do right now and achieve in the future. So if you feel like you’re kinda stuck and you’re not able to take action right now with what you’re pursuing because you feel like you’re trapped in your past mistakes, the only way to move forward is to forgive yourself for what you did or even didn’t do.
Forgiving yourself is a huge part in moving forward and letting go of past hurt and disappointment.
Step no. 2. Look for the learning opportunity because there is one!
Unless and until you choose to unpack what that something is, what that so-called failure was all about you will not be able to get insights which are critical for the future. Perhaps that experience taught you something.
Step no. 3 What would you have done differently
Now, before I get into this step I’d like to give you the disclaimer that if unpacking your past failures is still raw and you get extremely emotional about this then maybe this step is not for you.
Because this step requires a certain level of maturity. It requires you to be able to look at your past and think about different scenarios of how you could have or would’ve dealt with that situation differently without getting wrapped up in it and only entertaining it in a healthy sort of a way.
So when you’re able to think of ‘oh maybe I should’ve done that or oh maybe I could’ve done that” but that is not something that actually happened and if you’re able to dissociate from what could have been, what should have been with what actually happened, it can help a lot with the healing process.
The key is to not spiral out of control. Know that you did your best with what you knew in the past. You have got to believe that.
And the last step is Ready to Go At it again?
Now depending on what specific past failures you’re concentrating on it’s a subjective choice whether you want to pursue the same goal or you want to pursue a fresh one.
If it is the same goal that you’d like to pursue again. This time around I’d suggest probably investing a lot in having a good, solid strategy and an action plan before you start pursuing that goal.
If it’s a new goal you’d like to pursue for yourself then go ahead and do not carry what I call any ‘failure baggage’ along. It’s a new goal, it’s a fresh start and you have everything within you to pursue that goal.
You just have to be willing to give yourself permission to do that.
So those were some of the steps that you can use to not get stuck with your past failures.
Comment below and let me which resonated the most with you. I’d love to know your thoughts.
If you’re looking to pursue a specific goal whether it’s in your career or your relationship, health or even a hobbies goal, we created a Checklist for you which gives you all the critical steps you’ll need to take in order to pursue any life goal.
Check that out. The link is mentioned in the description below.
And that’s my time for today. If you liked this episode don’t forget to like it and share it with a friend. I’ll see you next week.
And like I always say don’t forget what you want matters and it’s really up to you to make it happen.
Stay healthy and stay safe, see ya!