Updated: May 17
This One thing maybe holding you back from reaching what you want.
It’s a fact that every single person struggles with it. It’s just that, some people learn to deal with it better than most.
Today, let’s talk about self-confidence.
I know what you must be thinking. A lot of people say that to be self-confident you just have to think positively. As though, that alone will be enough to somehow miraculously pump us up and get our self confidence soaring high.
In reality, this approach alone doesn’t work. So, what can do? Let’s find out.
First off, let’s look at the meaning of self confidence. The dictionary meaning is ‘the feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement.’ It says clearly ‘the feeling of trust in One’s abilities, qualities and judgement’ no one else’s but your own.
This means that your self confidence comes from yourself. No one else is responsible for it. You have to understand that the amount of self confidence you want to ooze out is completely up to you. You are 100% in control.
f you believe something or someone else can hamper you confidence levels, next we have to talk about what makes us feel less confident.
It’s called the unequal or inferior mentality. What does this mean? Well, people with low self-confidence see others as better or more deserving than themselves. They tend to look to others and are either jealous or wanting of someone else’s confidence. This inevitably makes them feel less then and inferior to someone else.
Now, I don’t mean to take a moralistic approach and condone it to be either right or wrong. However, if you want to reach you goals, being low on self confidence because of an unequal and inferior mentality will not serve you, it simply won’t work in your favor.
If you allow your confidence to shake by looking at another’s, then it’s obvious you don’t believe that you’re in control of your own confidence. You have to understand that someone else being confident, need not and cannot make you any less confident.
Instead, it helps to make a shift from a scarcity mentality to an abundant one. There’s enough of confidence, joy, happiness and success and all the good things in life to go around. You don’t have to want someone else’s confidence, you can turn up yours since it’s completely in your control.
Okay, hopefully that’s sunk in. Here are two things that you absolutely need to know about developing more self confidence.
1. Decide to be more confident
You see the thing with being confident is it doesn’t just happen. We may look at someone and think “Wow he/she is so self assured and seems highly confident in life, they must be born with it” Well, let me assure you. They aren’t. It’s a skill anyone, I mean anyone can pick up. You just got to decide whether you want to be more confident and if you believe it’s upto you. Deciding to be more confident is half the work done!
2. Work those Skills
Well, it’s all good and fancy to think yes I want to be more confident duh! However thinking alone will let not make it happen. Which is why you need to practice being more confident.
One way to do it is by practicing the skill you want to be more confident in.
I know it is ironic!.
The only way to get better at something you’re not confident in, is by doing that very same thing. Let me give you an example. If you’re diffident about let’s say giving a presentation at work. Next time there’s a presentation opportunity, learn to take it up willingly. So if you want to become more confident in a particular topic or area in life, you’ve got to practice those specific skills.
And now, it’s time to take action. This week the exercise is as follows.
First, determine your confidence levels. Pick a topic or area you’d like to be more confident in.
Second, do your research. Practice those specific topic skills.
Third, take some action toward it. Let’s say, if you’d like to be more confident while speaking with others. Meet more people and interact with them.
If you want to feel more confident about a certain skillset, invite your friends and share an idea with them. Do anything to move yourself and intentionally put yourself in the spot where you’re required to practice being more confident.
Lastly, it’ll be scary, it may sound silly and it may even seem extremely difficult to do. But I assure if you do this you’ll feel so good! You have to try it to believe me.
If you get anxious or scared about taking action, remind yourself, . What you want is to feel more confident, any other thoughts such as ‘it’s scary, silly or such thoughts’ are there only to get you off course, so don’t fall in that trap. Focus on what you want to feel which is to feel more confident. And the only way to do that effectively is to do more of the thing that makes you currently feel less confident.
I hope this episode helped you. If it did, I’ll appreciate you liking and sharing the episode with your friends. I’m here every Thursday to help you with your goals. Big and small.
Till next week, remember ‘What You Want Matters and It’s Up to You to Make It Happen.”