Updated: May 17
Is it getting difficult being at home. Let’s face it, one of the downsides of being at home 24/7 with your loved ones is that fights are going to be inevitable.
Hi and welcome back to Action-Ables. If you’re a new listener, my name’s Paden. I’m a performance life coach and the CEO of Up It. If you’re a returning listener, welcome back, I appreciate you tuning in every week.
In this episode, let’s discuss how being at home with loved ones can really make us feel and what to do in case conflicts happen.
This unique unprecedented situation that we are all in right now, is causing us to live with our families 24/7. And even though we love our family members, the truth of the matter is this may not be an ideal situation, since being with your loved ones all the time, can give rise to conflicts and may cause stress.
You know what they say abut too much of something or someone can be too much!
If you’re mindful that fights are going to be inevitable, it’s a great place to start to know how to deal when such conflicts do arise. Agreed every family dynamic is unique and I don’t claim to know yours particularly, however I do want to impress upon you the importance of being mindful.
Thinking ahead of a possible situation that may arise is being better prepared for it. It doesn’t mean you’re hoping for it to happen or being negative about it. Instead it’s being smart.
Like I mentioned earlier, every family dynamic is unique. Once you’re mindful that conflicts may arise, the next thing to do is to prepare for them. As with any conflicts, it can be range from an argument, to exchange of bitter words to the worst-case of physical confrontation.
Of course, in the worst-case scenario, seek the necessary help. For the purpose of our conversation right now, let’s focus on conflicts that range from arguments to bitter words.
Any kind of preparation that you do helps you with a particular task. Similarly, when you prepare to deal with your conflicts, you’ll be able to handle them better.
So here are three things you can do to prepare yourself for a conflict.
1. Leave the scene: Now some may argue that leaving the scene can be insensitive or maybe even viewed as a weakness. However, here’s a perspective. If you stay in the same room as where the argument is happening, nothing good can come out of it. You’ll only be adding to the tension. So, your first move should be to leave the scene.
2. Don’t harbour the words: Especially right now, everyone’s tensed. We don’t know what can set someone off. So in case your loved ones do say something hurtful, try not taking it personally. The loving thing to do right now is don’t think about the words they’ve just said to you. Instead choose to forgive. Of course this sounds easy to do. But here’s a technique. Try this mental exercise, think of your loved one who’s just said something horrible to you and now think of something they’ve done for you in the past. And think of one more positive they’ve said to you in the past. Do this enough number of times and soon you won’t be so hung up on what they said just now! There will be a time to talk about and resolve an issue, right now it’s not the time to do that.
3. Do something you enjoy: Call it a distraction to get your mind off things, but it still works. So whether it’s listening to a favourite track, watching a movie or reading a book, go and start doing that thing! You may not be able to storm off out the front door but you can go to another room and be with yourself till you calm down.
The last thing to remember, is these are extraordinary times and avoiding fights is a necessity right now. Being more loving and supportive of your loved ones is the need of the hour!
So that’s my time for today. I hope this helps you be better prepared for any arguments you may have at home.
For more tips on handing conflicts check out this week’s Up It Weekly on YouTube.
I’ll be back next Thursday. To connect with me, you can hit me up on social. My handle on Instagram is #padenslife
For personalised help with your goals, check out my company on www.upitaway.com
Reminder. We will get through this together. Remember your goals matter and it’s up to you to make it happen!