Updated: May 5
If being at home is driving you crazy then this episode is for you!
Hi and welcome to Up It and the Action-Ables podcast. My name is Paden, I’m a performance life coach and the CEO of Up It. In this episode, let’s talk about how you are feeling right now and what you can do to feel a whole lot better!
The one thing we all have in common is our innate human need to feel connected with others. This need is so powerful that right now being isolated can be a huge challenge.
Research shows that a lack of deep human relationships can cause us to be more anxious, feel more lonely and even depressed which is severely detrimental to our health.
Our brains are wired to connect and interact with people. We all want to be appreciated, loved and cared for which is why being unable to go out right now may make us to feel disconnected from our friends, colleagues and people in general.
Scientifically speaking, there are ‘reward centres’ in our brain that light up every time we make a human connection. So more the number of human connections we make, more reward centres light up in our brain which facilitate the release of endorphins, the happy hormones, making us feel less stressed and more happy.
So let’s talk about how we can improve our human connections right now.
The first thing to understand is that any connection that you’re trying to make starts with yourself. It starts with you identifying your feelings. The interesting thing about feelings is that a lot of people think of feelings as either good or bad. In my experience, what I’ve learnt is that need not necessarily be good or bad, instead they can simply be comfortable or uncomfortable ones. And uncomfortable doesn’t always necessarily mean bad.
Most people are conditioned to believe that bad feelings are to be ignored and you should get over them as quickly as possible. The risk with doing that is if you don’t take the time to acknowledge how you truly feel, or you ignore and try to suppress your feelings, they have a funny of showing up as anger, depression or any negative behaviour.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to take the time out to acknowledge how you’re feeling. This ability to be in touch with your feelings at any given moment is truly the first thing that you need to do if you want to be able to make lasting and deep human connections.
The second thing is to Ask for help.
Once you’ve acknowledged how you’re feeling, it becomes simpler to deal with those particular feelings. For example, if you find yourself missing your friends and you’re feeling lonely, you can do something about it. You can pick up the phone, call a friend and ask them and tell them how you’re feeling. Now this might be an obvious thing to do, but you’d be surprised how a lot of us hold ourselves back for the fear of coming across as weak or needy or too vulnerable.
Now if that’s how you’ve been feeling, I want to assure you that it’s completely natural to feel lonely, scared or even stressed right now and not be able to call up a friend and to be vulnerable about how you feel. It’s completely natural and there’s absolutely no shame in reaching out to your friends.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to your friends and loved ones and tell them how you’re feeling just because you think that you may come across as weak or too vulnerable. Feeling like you need to reach out to your friends does not make you weak, instead it only makes you human.
Who knows when you ask for help, you make it easier for your loved ones to do the same with you.
The third thing is to connect with authenticity.
The only way to create lasting and deep connections is when we show up as our most genuine and authentic selves. When we try to connect with someone from this place of genuity, they are able to feel that and are more likely to respond to us in the similar way.
The fourth thing to do is connect with Practice.
This need to connect with others is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the more it builds and becomes stronger. So if you want to make deeper connections with others, you have to be willing to do the work.
We can’t survive alone. Especially not right now, so let us learn to be okay to ask for help and to lean on our loved ones for emotional support. There’s absolutely no harm or shame in reaching out and lets be supportive of those who reach out to us.
So that’s my time for the day. Tell me in the comments below, how you are deeping your human connections.
You can also hit me up on social. My handle on Instagram is #padenslife
For personalised help, check out my company on www.upitaway.com
Till next week stay healthy, stay safe and I’ll talk to you soon!