The Stories We Tell Ourselves

As kids, we enjoyed listening to stories and as adults we continue to tell ourselves stories. Most of which aren't empowering and often times they add to our self doubt. Do you have such stories?

The time when something less than ideal happened to you, and you interpreted it as your fault or you not being good enough? Or the time when you wanted to pursue a dream but the story you told yourself was there wasn't enough time, money or some other excuse.

The stories we tell ourselves have so much power over us. We don't realise that how we respond to situations and the action we take or even don't take, it's because of a story we've made in our mind. Yet, the good news is that it can be changed.

However, change isn't possible unless you believe you can change the stories that have been holding you back.  You have to be willing to grab life by the reins and steer it in the direction you deem fit are constantly learn both from your successes and so called failures.

We tell ourselves a number of stories every day – whether things are going well or badly, we say things like – “it’s all part of the plan” and “this what was meant to happen” without taking an active initiative to control what is happening.

But why?

Unfortunately, it is human tendency to let negative emotions and events drive us forward. When we feel fear, pain or anxiety – we’re forced to find a way to fix them. On the other hand, feelings of happiness, elation, relief, excitement and the like make us complacent with the status quo.

There are many ways in which you can rewrite the story of your life, but the very first step is to start controlling your life rather than have life control you.


Let’s take the story of the universe. The universe is so vast that when scientists started out exploring it, they didn’t know where to start, and guess what? They still haven’t figured out its end and beginning.

The point is – they started somewhere. Your life is no different. If you wish to succeed, tell others your success story and set an example for those around you, you have to start and there’s no better time than now.

Dissociate Your Self worth

We tend to give meaning to everything that happens in our life. Next time you attach a meaning to an incident or event, take a moment and try seeing the event as it is. This way you'll start to see that most of the things you're uncomfortable with are simply a meaning you've created and then attached it to your self worth.

Once you understand that your self worth isn't determined, by something that happens to you, you will feel a lot more in control of things. You are good enough as you are. Your self worth doesn't have to be validated by the meaning you associate to events or situations.

Befriend Yourself

We tell ourselves lies and eventually we start believing them. You can either be your own best friend or own worst enemy. The choice is yours.

One of the best gifts you can give yourself is the gift of honesty. Being honest with how you feel and what you want in your life will help unlock a lot of unnecessary negative associations you've made.

Don’t aim for perfection

Aiming for perfection means you’re taking away the growth aspect out of the equation. Unless you make mistakes, you won’t be able to learn from them and use them to unlock your higher potential.

To err is human and that’s what you should aim to be - your flawed and yet best version of yourself.

Quit Competing

One of the worst things you can do to yourself is comparing your life to someone else. Everyone has their own issues to deal with, just like you.

However, if you must look at others, then pay attention to ways they’ve conquered their demons and get inspired to overcome your own.

Choose to be happy

Break the myth that you’re a sad soul, a cynic, or anything negative. Work towards changing those negatives into positives. Keep the glass half-full outlook and fulfilment will come to you, sooner than later.

Tread the uncharted

Part of the entire self-growth and improvement process is to take a few risks every now and again.

Take up something you might fear or are uncomfortable with. For example – if you’re afraid of the water, sit by the beach; if you’re afraid of heights, fly a short distance. The more risks you take, the stronger your personality will become. Limiting yourself should never be an option.

There are certain things that are completely out of your control. You can’t control life and you can’t control death, but everything in between comes down to choices – your choices.

Make the right ones and you will have the world at your disposal. Take some calculated risks, you'll be grateful you did.

Change your story

Adopt healthy habits that are productive for you and your growth. Stick to schedule, practice every day, surround yourself with positivity, take useful advice from people and spend quality time with your loved ones.

Once you’ve let go of the negativity that surrounds you and choose your story, rather than let it write itself – you’re already halfway to victory.

Write your own success story. Start today; start now!

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