Updated: May 17
This week, I want to speak to you about the single most important question that determines a person’s quality of life. It’s such an important question that every successful person starts by asking themselves this ‘What do I want?”
In my coaching experience, I’ve often witnessed when I ask a client ‘what they want‘, many people instinctively tell me what they don’t want.
For example: I had a client who wanted to get a promotion at work. However, when she first met me and I asked her what she wanted to achieve. All she did was talk how much she didn’t want to feel stressed at work. It was only after couple of sessions that she arrived at what she wanted to achieve. Things worked out and she landed the promotion she was after.
Why is it critical to ask this question?
Here’s an analogy. Let’s say you want to go on a holiday with your friends. The first question you ask is ‘where to’ right? You don’t find yourself thinking about how you’ll get to the place before even deciding where you want to go. Similarly, unless you ask yourself what kind of life you want to live it seems pointless to worry about how you’re going to create that life.
With advanced technology, our quality of life should be improving. However, that’s not the case. More and more people suffer from stress and not feeling fulfilled in life. This is mainly because the root cause isn’t being addressed. The root cause being people focussing on what they don’t want instead of asking themselves what they do want in their life.
It helps to understand that when we ask ourselves questions, we subconsciously start looking for answers. And in our quest for answers, we make better decisions which gives better results.
It also works on the flip slide, as well. If we focus our entire energy thinking about things we don’t want in our life, we end up manifesting those exact things.
Now, this may sound woo woo to you if you’re not familiar with the law of attraction. Even science supports that what we tend to think about most we tend to make happen. It’s like where our thoughts go, energy flows.
So, here’s a thought – What if we believed that we can create a life that we truly want?
Think about that for a sec.
If you were to think about what kind of health you want to have when you are 70, or the kind of partner you see yourself spending your life with, or the home you want to build and the experiences you want to have in life. There’s a higher chance that you’ll start eating healthy, being in a loving relationship, and doing what you truly love in life.
It’s like Zig Ziglar said “you can’t hit a target, you can’t see!”
Only when you know what you want can you take steps towards it and make it a reality. Remember everything we use in our lives right now (the technology) was first an idea in someone’s mind which they later turned into a reality.
Here’s a head-up. You will face severe challenges when you start questioning what you want for yourself. First, it’s going to be internal challenges such as ‘why do you want to rock the boat? “everything is fine as it is. You’re being greedy. You don’t deserve it “or some such version.
Second, it’s going to an external challenge. When, if you were to share this meaningful question with a loved one. They may reaffirm your internal doubts. Leaving you overwhelmed, confused and scared to pursue this line of thinking.
Now, both these challenges are very real and very difficult to overcome. But I’ll say this. Nothing in life is easy. Nothing is supposed to be. And you are stronger than you think!
It’s as we discussed earlier where our thoughts go, our energy flows. It’s up to you what you want to focus on.
Do you want to focus on figuring out what you truly want in your life? Or do you want to focus on how hard it will be to figure out what you want? Make a choice for yourself.
Now, let’s move on to the One thing you can do to ask yourself what you want. You need to do just that- Ask yourself!
You can get started by downloading this free goal setting worksheet here. This can help you with looking at different areas of your life and deciding what’s important to you.
That’s my time for today. I sincerely hope you’ll take some time out and do this short exercise for yourself.
Till next week, remember ‘What You Want Matters and It’s Up to You to Make It Happen.”